found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
