Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
where does the pee come out of this thing
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
