I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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