I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
