I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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