I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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