Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
