i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
