Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He better not be in your backpack
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
