Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
