My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
