all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
