eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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