Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
