I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
