My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
there is puke in my bra ... again
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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