the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
