so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
