you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
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