Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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