It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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