I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
