Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
