I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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