who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
