I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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