dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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