that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
