I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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