I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
