ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize