it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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