He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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