its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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