another moral hangover. fuck.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
