im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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