I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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