I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
