So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
