I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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