Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
