i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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