My girlfriend figured out who you are.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
