He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
