I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
