Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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