In the future we'll all be gay
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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