shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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