hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize