if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
