and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
