very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
