ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
