At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
The ass gains better be worth it
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