it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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