You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I have fence marks all over my body
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I enjoy the company of your penis
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