At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
