party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
