Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Randomize
