turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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