I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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