I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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