Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
