oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize